By Audrey Alma Meyer

Sending a message, getting no answer.

Sending a message, getting an answer… and then what?

How much further does it go?

Expressing an emotion,  getting none back.

Expressing an emotion, getting one back… and then what arises?

Explaining a thought so the other can understand.

Feeling satisfied with inner inquiries,

Yet lost in the answers-

Most of them never final.

Going to therapists for years,

Where this microcosm feels safe.

Someone looks, someone listens to you carefully.

This shelter is not a home;

It is a house of cards.

And no real love.

Distance prevails,

As if there is nothing left to receive.

No genuine intimacy:

Unattainable,

Unreachable.

A moment appears, then vanishes until the next.

It often feels like this: bringing aliveness, then death.

Abrupt, sometimes violent.

Fear of a lack of attention.

Fear of a lack of importance.

Fear of abandonment.

Who am I?

What am I doing here?

In between...in time, in place, in love.